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Why Does a Man Say He Wants a Woman’s Baby If They Are Lovers?

August 4, 2009

Psychology behind this wonder?

Why does a man tell a woman, that he’s just met, that he wants her baby?

Is it a primal instinct sort of thing to say while having sex? Even if it’s sex with someone you’ve just met?

Here’s a scenario: You meet a guy a few times and have a sexual relationship, meaning see each other only a few times, total. So not really a relationship, but a lover. And then he says one night while devouring each other, he wants your baby. Why would that be? Male perspective?

It’s just a curious question in life of mine. I’ve heard of ‘girls’ who have heard not once, but twice in a situation like this. Odd? For some reason I don’t think he really does in these cases? Thoughts? Flatter her? Why?


41 Comments leave one →
  1. tvexplorer permalink
    August 5, 2009 8:56 p08

    I’m going to go with flattery on this one. The baby reference is telling the woman that she’s smoking hot…so much so he “wants her baby” (not thinking about the fact that those cute little babies are sex-enders for mom and dad.)

  2. August 5, 2009 8:56 p08

    That’s what I was thinking. I couldn’t think of anything else that made sense, since as you mentioned or alluded to, babies are quite serious, and –someone may be offended by this– but can kill a relationship, or so I’ve seen, and heard. Not so smoking hot–a whaling baby!

    Thanks for input from males perspective!

  3. severnyproductions permalink
    August 6, 2009 8:56 p08

    That stumps me, do these men know how stupid that sounds. Socially unaware most likely. don’t let it bother you.

  4. August 6, 2009 8:56 p08

    Yes. It stumps me too. I was thinking maybe it’s instinctive-primitive sort of a thing? Like a man is meant to pro-create, as is a women, in the ‘old days.’ So I guess a guy could have a tourette moment while having sex with a ‘decent’ looking girl. Maybe?

    I don’t let it bother me. I was just curious what some males had to say about the behavior. It struck me as odd as one could become and then what? Have an abortion because one’s too–not ready to have a child, and the man was a nameless face? Well then that would ruin the whole moment of ‘I want your baby’ during passionate sex now wouldn’t it. More like I’m on a killing spree, can I have ur baby? No, that may be going a bit too far!

    Hope I didn’t lose you!

    As always, it’s been a pleasure!

  5. Jenn permalink
    October 18, 2009 8:56 p10

    I’m in that situation now…and although I really want a baby myself, I think its too soon. We’ve only been seeing each other since August, my family hates him, and there is a definite language barrier. I do know he lost his first love of 7 years in a car crash a few years ago. I’m not sure if he says he wants me to have his baby because he’s afraid of loosing me too, or he just wants to piss off my folks. He also calls me his wife which seems odd even for an old school Polish man.

    • May 20, 2010 8:56 p05

      With Wind we sail across crimson skies.
      The Stars fall down like diamonds,
      a descent that lights up the night,
      cradled in our love, so fond.

  6. del. permalink
    April 19, 2011 8:56 p04

    im going through this now ex,who i was with for 6 month and was just sex asked me if i would have his baby and could he impregnate me.
    lets just say i was take aback by wasnt the 1st time he asked me.i liked him very much but didnt know him(would of liked to tho)hes 36,no kids,im 30 with 2 kids.
    He said this during sex on night and i said ‘if anythink was to happen,would you be there?’.
    He replyed,’ probably not,no’.

    Why would a man say that.??
    lets just say i got rid a bit quick but i miss him very much.
    even now(3 months on)i still dont understand it all.
    I was happy it just being sex as we had a great connection like that.
    what do you lot make of this?

  7. kate permalink
    June 17, 2011 8:56 p06

    but what if a man says to his 2 years girlfrein that he whats to have a baby from her and its not onlly in sex but durrin the day time when they r watching tv for exemple???and his behaiver is much romantic and exotic and emotionally moving
    my bf is doing this and he is making me very confused and allover the place…and i having expect this from him as he usully dont show emotion and never talk about anything serious and then start talking about babys!!!!

    what is going on?!!!im confused

    • Kristen permalink
      July 27, 2011 8:56 p07

      When you find out let me know bc my boyfriend of 5 years have been doing the same thing. We are still pretty young 23&22. I didn’t think thoughts like that were crossing his mind just yet but apparently they are.

  8. Mizz Lewis permalink
    October 10, 2011 8:56 p10

    I did a google search on this subject because the guy I’m sexing told me he wanted me to have his child. Before this, I accused him of only pursuing me for sex and I tried to break it off. He told me that it’s not just for sex and after dodging him a for while, I gave in to him. Well, he seduced me and I gave in to him and in the middle of us going at it he started talking to me. I’m not used to talking during sex (conversation talking) but, OK!!! So, he asked me if I wanted him to myself and I told him that I refuse to share him and then he asked me to have his baby. I told him I wasn’t ready for another child ( I have an 11 year old). Then he asked me when would I be ready and I said, I don’t know. I’m thinking maybe he was saying this because he wanted to make me think that he really wanted to be with me in a relationship (something I’m still not convinced of to this day) but every time he comes over he asks if he can climax (I’m saying it nicely) in me. You would think I want another child cause I only have one but this man has 3 kids; what is on his bird??? I personally think he wants to trap me; keep me to himself but I feel that he’s not the faithful type.

    • Lady GooGoo permalink
      July 3, 2012 8:56 p07

      Similar to my situation. He has 3 kids from different women. We’ve just met and he wants to have a baby with me! I have one young one and that is enough for me. I take it to be a total cave-man thing. The possibility of impregnation is the reason we have a sex drive, which is probably why ‘risky’ sex (ie without condom) is more exciting for a lot of ppl. I think he’s just answering that call, rather than actually thinking it through and wanting to create a sex-ender (as the first poster called a baby LOL). Getting pregnant for me is a sexy thought, endless babies to rear forever more is not.
      My brain over-rides on this occasion and says ‘no thanks, matey’.

  9. Princess22 permalink
    March 30, 2012 8:56 p03

    i’m a 22yr old girl. i met this 25yr old guy thru a fren. since then we been textin n fb postin. after few days, last tuesday i went over to his place. We and his roommate went kinda like bar hopping and then we came back to his place..we talked for a lil bit, drank some more and then got in the room to chill. i can say i had the most awesome sex of my life that night. it was amazing. he lives an hour drive frm my place so we can’t see each other that often so we were skyping tonite n he told me dat he wants to hv my babies. Idk how other girls think of this kinda statement. But i think it was really sweet of him to say so coz that shows how much he is attracted to me. Its a compliment too like as saying “you’re damn hot”. And its also like saying “you are my wifey”. I would take it positively.

  10. Imalittleogger permalink
    April 5, 2012 8:56 p04

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for awhile now. He tells me he wants kids, I really do too. We just bought our own house he has a good job and I have a decent one to help save and buy anything we need. The topic of children is one that we speak of often and I wish we would have some. But every time we are about to make love or in the middle when one of us says something about it he either says now is not the right time or says that he will go inside me but then pulls out right before. What should I think? Do? Any input would be nice

  11. Kelly permalink
    June 2, 2012 8:56 p06

    Yes, it’s so weird. This guy did ask me in the middle of night club if I would have his baby…….WTH??? Is it me or it’s just wrong to ask?

    • Melissa permalink
      June 15, 2012 8:56 p06

      it is wrong to ask… believe me, I’m 13 and a boy that i really liked for so many years asked me to have sex.. i said no, because we are so young, and i would never take those chances. I have a cousin who is 21, she was at a club with friends when a man asked her to have his babies. It is not polite to ask so trust me it not only you. Imagine the guy i liked for so long asked me this now, and yes now he is my boyfriend and im almost 14 but i told him that we can’t get serious like that till were at least in our 20’s. do you think i told him the right thing?

      • Quinni permalink
        June 15, 2012 8:56 p06

        I’m 41 and just went through this a few year ago… so yea, 13…14 is a little too young to get this serious. You have your whole life ahead of you and guess what? As women, what we look for in a man changes greatly over the years. It not only changes, but it’s added on to. Just like when you were 5, what you wanted to be when you grew up is a lot different from what you may want to do with your life today, and possibly once a junior or senior in high school it will change again. Our wants and needs get changed and fine tuned in each maturity level. I believe that both mental and emotional maturity start to level out at maybe 30 depending on what your purpose is (basically, what your soul came here to learn and experience). Mind you, there are few that meet their soul mate early on and can survive through school. I say, if he is mature enough to ask that of you than he must be mature enough to have respect for you and wait until you are ready.

        Next time you are at a book store flip through the Rule book. There is some bs in there but the general concept is good. As you mature, I do suggest just skimming over the Mars & Venus books along with some Christian Carter and Royi Raye newsletters… there’s enough in there to put together your foundation without buying anything.

        BTW, the guy I wrote in about a while back turn out to be a fruit cake, a compulsive liar, a drunk, and a thief. Be very careful out there ladies. Some men just say what they can to get what they want and once they have it, there’s no chase left to occupy them.

  12. Harry permalink
    June 27, 2012 8:56 p06

    Stumbled upon this blog and as a 40++ guy, father of two teenagers I just wanted to add my POV. This year i celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary. The line which i used to ask for a long term commitment was: “what are you doing for the next 50 years?” The line about ‘having your babies’ is a crude chat-up line which depending on yr personality will make you run a mile or feel flattered. Men do say what they can to get their way but don’t be a pushover ladies; respect yourselves and others will respect you. Btw alcohol is nice at the time but always be in control- know your tipping point!

  13. Anna permalink
    August 2, 2012 8:56 p08

    I know this feeling. my boyfriend and I have been on and off for 2years. he’s 24 im 18. recently he just lost his mother. he’s been attached to me because regardless of everything I’ve always been by his side. he was my first love. I fell inlove with him when I was 15 years old. and still till this day. his eyes and smile make me fall more inlove. well the thing is I need advise. I’ve always been scared of having children because in my family none of Tue men stayed around. I don’t want that for my baby. well the other night during sex we decided not to use a condom. I was a bit scared and he knew it but I did it. you see during sex he told me not to be scarde that if he got me pregnant he would be there to take care of me and the baby. what does this mean?

  14. Kellie permalink
    December 2, 2012 8:56 p12

    I am 39 and I have had the same lover for almost 10 years and he is 44. He is not my boyfriend and there is no commitment in our relationship. If he wants to see others he can and if I want to see others I can. However, neither of us like the idea of the other person seeing someone else. Yes, it is a strange relationship. Truthfully, our relationship is like this simply because he refuses to make a commitment. I have been ready to be involved with him only for the entire time yet he makes up excuses and makes it seem like its my fault because I have two children, work and go to school that I’m just too busy for him, Over the last eight years he has been asking me to have his baby (he doesn’t have any children).

    The first time he asked it was during sex and I have to admit it was very sweet especially because he had always told me that he didn’t want any children or to get married. Now he asks me to have a baby ALL the time. He even attempts to put me on a guilt trip, because I have two children and he doesn’t have any. I think the reason he does this is because he is older and wants a child, but he doesn’t want to get married and do it the right way. Also, I think he wants to have an excuse to be see me forever with out marrying me because he knows I am tired of this go nowhere relationship and I have spent the last 2-3 years pulling away from him. I guess you would call that “trapping” a person. I think this is his way of getting to be a father and having a long term relationship with me without marriage.

    I’m not saying this is okay just offering a potential reason for some of the guys who have been involved with ladies on a longer term basis than just a few weeks. As for the guys you just met who ask this question I think its a pick up line or if they do it during sex it may just be something they say to all of their lovers to get them off. And for the ladies who have been dating a guy a few months who asks this question he may be like my lover or he may be the kind who likes to create baby mamas like some of the celebrities out here today. It used to be that just having sex with a woman was a notch on the belt, but now some really sick guys don’t consider it a notch until you have their kid.

  15. December 27, 2012 8:56 p12

    it just means he wants to have sex. I had someone who I wasn’t in a sexual relationship say this to me. Don’t believe them. If they really want you to have their babies ask him to marry you. But don’t get married right away. Have a very long engagement. good luck

  16. December 27, 2012 8:56 p12

    continuation … and don’t have sex with them at all. Wait until after the marriage. Avoid all situations that would lead you to sex with him. And if he cheats on you or if he acts like he doesn’t want you anymore then you’ll know for sure he’s just a user and he truly doesn’t want to have kids with you.

    • Tamiya Williams permalink
      September 4, 2014 8:56 p09

      This is great advice!!!!!!

  17. xxx permalink
    April 26, 2013 8:56 p04

    I would really love your take on the following guys – related to the above. I have had a few dates with a guy who is living abroad and I went to visit him last weekend. In car from the airport he asks me my thoughts on marriage and kids and how he wants to have them in a few years. This was said again at the end of my weekend with him.

    Now here is the other spanner in the works. the first time we had sex he was really forceful, and not in a ‘nice’ dominant way in a ‘i don’t like this’ kind of way. He also stuck his fingers far into my mouth repeatedly and when I bit down (Slowly increasing the pressure until is was pretty hard in my opinion) he didn’t say anything, just hot me across the face! Now I am not asking for an opinion on that because I already know where I stand on it. What I am trying to get my head around is the fact that later that evening he said he didn’t feel he could be afflectionate/intimate with me and yet the next day he brings up children in two years again.

    Very very confused.

  18. Nicole permalink
    August 9, 2013 8:56 p08

    I’ve need dating this guy for a month, and while we had sex he would say “I want you to have my babies” I actually asked him why the hell he was saying those things, and he said that he considers it hot that he can impregnate me with his sperm. I wasn’t sure if it was a cultural thing since he is Asian, or if all guys think that way too

    • December 1, 2013 8:56 p12

      Nicole….has nothing to do with culture. I date a White man who says “it’d be SO Hot” if I had his baby. Big deal. It’d be “so hot” if men ‘put a ring on it’ first! Otherwise, all they are trying to do is get you to let them have sex with you without condoms. To all men, sex feels better without protection. It’s not about wanting to be bound to you forever. Sorry but truth.

  19. December 1, 2013 8:56 p12

    I’m 38 year old female and in this situation now. He has a girlfriend but we’ve been ‘seeing’ each other (we’ve never had full blown intercourse before), for 3 years. He tells me everyday “i want you to have my baby”. This is NOT confusing at all ladies. See, if he wants me to be the mother of his child then he’d want me to be his wife, too. This guy has NEVER talk about marriage (the whole 3 years we’ve dated). He has never said he’s deeply in love. So he is obviously on some Bullsh*t. He’s just saying ALL he can to get me into bed. Ladies, do NOT fall for these ‘baby lines’. If these men really want to be ‘one’ with you, they’d marry you first.

  20. Princess permalink
    October 1, 2014 8:56 p10

    It is a connection thing, most men don’t realize what it is. They just know that right there in the moment they feel a certain way. I have an older lover who is constantly telling me that he wishes he could give me a baby. I asked why and he finally admitted that it is a connection thing that he wants with me forever even it we were to stop being lovers, there would still be a link (the child) to us. He said he feels more at peace with me and wants to provide for me, but don’t know how because I would not let him and if I was pregnant then he would have to provide for me because of the baby.

  21. robC permalink
    October 30, 2014 8:56 p10

    This one’s easy: He want’s to cum inside her; instinct.

  22. Neverbroken permalink
    May 12, 2015 8:56 p05

    I have been tormented by this question for over a year now since learning that my darling husband said those very words to his mistress knowing well he had no intention of being with her long term! Much to his surprise he also lost me and his son, whom I’d recently given birth to … He now has nothing to do with the girl or her daughter! Real winner! I know … So my only explanation is that “connection” People are talking about but with this guy it’s about his insecurities and being part of something even though he’s not even close to being committed. He seeks connections he’s not ready for and unconditional love when he’s not prepared to reciprocate!

    • Kenya permalink
      April 5, 2016 8:56 p04

      Thank you for your post!! I feel a lot better and have much needed clarity from this! I am currently (dating a drug dealer) and yes they are crazy, I never been with one because I know the lifestyle that comes with. I never really wanted to talk to him I was dodging him for the longest, then I finally gave in and dated him. In the begging we never used condoms, so I’m thinking (ok so this guy never use condoms) so he likes to have sex (make love) when he’s high off weed and Molly’s..then he pressured me into doing it! I never did mollys in my life until I met him! Everytime we have sex he says “I love u”. “Give me a boy” “Ima get u pregnant” “you’re gonna be the first to have my baby” etc etc I’m 26 and honestly I don’t know his age it’s been a year , so he’s maybe 35 ,so the next day I asked him about all the things he say during sex , his reply “I was high wat do u expect?” So now I’m all hurt pissed off and confused!! One thing about drug dealers they are loyal (to the money and fam of course! But when it come to dating…they are not faithful nor committed!! This man is fucking up my life!! Got me doing things I never did , and now I’m regretting it! I need heeellpppp!! And thanks for reading this!

  23. URonlyBookey permalink
    August 8, 2015 8:56 p08

    I wonder this myself hints how I found this site.. I get asked often by different men asking me to have his baby (with no intament encounters).. Usallay the commen question is can I “Impregnate you.” they mean it.. My reply cuz I have had 4 kids already.. I am fixed.. They ALL reply I will pay to undo it.. Then I usually get a dog.. I know this game I have received many dogs mainly pits.. I always except the dog even if they are not my man.. They do this cuz I can’t be trapped by a baby.. Ok so I have the I watch are They going to feed it? Hmmmm.. I give dogs back believe that.. Marridge proposels often. Move in with me etc.. I meet sexy men ready for a family often.. I just wanted more understanding about this and if it’s commen…. I get asked about 10-20 times a year. And by friends guy approach me often.. They look scared all tho they try.. I have been single 4 months in the last 15yrs.. My conclusion is.. There’s like a dress you want right ur waiting for it to go on sale.. U know u should get it cuz it’s perfect u go back and its gone… U always think of that dress u wanted.. So if it’s that good sometimes it’s worth the high price.. I do not except gifts been offered many including cars.. If a man sees the best he will try to get it.. Yes I have many messages from different guys asking me to have his baby. I would post just can’t put them out there.. And messages can be made.. So with that.. Be u 100% always be strong and love yourself no matter what you look like.. We are all beautiful people.. Yes I’m sexy thick gourgouse smart fun loyal happy health.. Can party by myself and have a blast.. They say there’s a million when your not looking.. Stay active..I can go on with the says..the point is they are all true facts.. The struggle is real.. Knowledge is power.. Choose a mate wisely..

  24. thobile permalink
    October 19, 2015 8:56 p10

    We met on wechatt,we chatt for yhe whole year,august 2015 he came to c me,we stay in his car,he then touch my nipples and wanted to kiss me I refused,and we ddnt chatt or clk each other from ther,he then ask me to visite him I dd,on 15 of october 2015 and now we click,we used condoms did checkup after,then we both wants a child,crazy inluv,i love me we are in love,plz help

    • ces permalink
      January 7, 2016 8:56 p01

      hi there we have the same situation but we meet once and then we makelove and he didnt said we have a relationshp he said he really wants me to be a mother of his child and he will take care of me and he said we will have a family togther he said we wont use the word sex just makinglove because if we make a baby we do it with love. you think he will love scared i cant have a baby coz im retroverted ovary i dont want him to leave me

  25. Fennex permalink
    November 23, 2015 8:56 p11

    So having same issue, had a baby 3 months back from my previous partner that pretty much walked away from his responsibility extremely early on in my pregnancy because a new girl had his interests (that girl has now dumped him) and I have finally decided to look for someone new myself, nothing heavy or rushed but something that could lead on to a great relationship in the future. Needless to say I met someone online, before we even met he asked about having his baby one day I was like lets see where we go first, so we met nothing sexual happened but he asks me again to have his baby… also to be his wifey and marry him. Again I told him to wait and see, so now here I am with a guy that’s extremely baby orientated and marriage crazy and barring a few kisses we haven’t done anything. Question is how can I get him to see its rushing us, yes his offered to be a father to my young son and raise him as his own but I’m not enjoying the idea of *us trying for a baby as soon as possible* when we ain’t been sexual intimate yet. Oh and to add to it his already told his folks about me and how I am to be his wife and future mother of his child. (just for reference his 27 and I’m 29)

  26. Maya permalink
    December 27, 2015 8:56 p12

    Asking for anything VERY EARLY is a sign of being desperate. Examples are saying ” I love you! I want a relationship with you. I want to marry you. I want a baby with you.” And CLEARLY it has nothing to do with you but it shows some deep personal conflict of the person saying it.

  27. Arnel permalink
    January 10, 2016 8:56 p01

    I’m in a similar situation. Me and the guy I’m seeing have been talking for almost a month. We have talked about marriage, but I’m convinced that he wants to get me pregnant. When we first started talking, I mentioned to him rubbers or without, he replied without. I asked him are you trying to get me pregnant, he replied, Yes. I was shocked. We met a few weeks ago, and we didn’t use rubbers. I may be pregnant because my period didn’t come yet, and I do remember him cumming. We are very attracted to each other, and if I am pregnant, I will keep it! He is Italian/Spanish and I’m Black! He is 35, and I’m 33. It would be our first child together.

    • Arnel permalink
      January 12, 2016 8:56 p01

      BTW, my period did come. I’m not expecting. It was a false alarm.

  28. Eugienia permalink
    March 13, 2016 8:56 p03

    I was on a school trip and this boy kissed me and later told me he was gonna get me pregnant. At age 12 this was tough, I had concidered this boy as my friend. He apologized immidiatly after. My school councelor somehow found out about it and made me tell her everything and i did. He got in a lot of trouble and had to sit out many of the fun activities the next day but i felt really bad for getting him in trouble, I don’t know what to do. The vice principal that was on the trip said that he would also have some more consequences later.

  29. Amy permalink
    April 6, 2016 8:56 p04

    Ok guys… Honest point of view needed here. I am nearly 40, my boyfriend is 55. We have been in a monogamous relationship for almost a year. He told me he loved me first after three months. We became sexual early on and I told him then about having had my tubes tied nine years ago after my last child. I had hormonal problems a few months back where I didn’t have a period for three months. He out of the blue asked if I could be pregnant. Of course I wasn’t. He just recently told me during sex he wanted to get me pregnant. I again, told him I can’t because I had my tubes tied. He asked, if I could get pregnant, would I? I just don’t understand where this is coming from at our age. What does this mean in guy code? Is this just something that is a turn on that men just say? I always assumed men are scared of the whole baby topic. Do men get baby fever? Is this just getting the feelers out to see how I feel about him before popping the question? It just shocked me… After almost a year, he has never said this before.

    • Penny permalink
      September 26, 2016 8:56 p09

      RobC i think your answer is the one. That is what a man like that wants and if you get pregnant it ll be your problem not his

  30. Desma permalink
    October 7, 2016 8:56 p10

    What if he’s actually sneaking condoms off during sex and says it on a regular basis during conversation?

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